Wisdom for the Way by Pastor Bill Hawkins

Don’t let disagreeable people or thorny circumstances determine your personality

Some folks are passive about their soul and their emotions. Christ speaks to us Christians on this subject when He says “By your patience possess your souls” Luke 21:19 (NKJV). Jesus spoke these words to us in the context of others betraying us. He says others might well be our relatives and friends not to mention our co-workers,

neighbors and bosses. This betrayal might run the spectrum all the way from what Judas did to Jesus down to just someone giving us a “cold shoulder” or passing on a false rumor. The last two fruits of the spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:23 are “gentleness and self control”.

A Christian is one who has been born again by the Spirit of God. We have received eternal life and all the blessings that go with being a Child of God. A child of God dresses up with all the spiritual clothes, or fruits of the Spirit listed in verse 22 of Galatians 5. We should be full of love, joy, peacefulness, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness. Not having these fruits is like missing vital clothing (a recurring bad dream for many). You show nakedness as a believer when you respond to this counsel with excuses like “you don’t know what kind of a husband I have” or “you don’t know who I have to work with at the office” or “you don’t know what it’s like to have headaches, or arthritic pain or to have problems with your children”. In other words “my circumstances and the people I have to live with are my excuse”. Paul understood that Christ’s admonition to “possess your soul” in the face of circumstances requires patience and a learned supervision of our personality and emotions. In Philippians 4:11 he says that he isn’t controlled by his wants and needs but has learned that whatever his circumstances or “state” he must be content. He tells Timothy in I Timothy 6:6 that “Godliness with contentment is great gain”.

Just as a Christian shouldn’t yield his spirit to a hypnotist or a cultist or a fortune teller he shouldn’t let the meanness of others or the circumstances of time and chance (Ecclesiastes 9:11) determine his countenance.

Relationships (especially marriage)

"Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy vanity, which He hath given thee under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 9:9

Living joyfully with your spouse requires following some important Biblical principles:

1. The choice of your life mate is vital. A believer should be married to a believer. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers." II Corinthians 6:14

2. The Christian spirit is to prefer the other person over self. This is a kind and affectionate idea. "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another." Romans 12:10

3. The spirit, especially in marriage, requires that you go beyond just meeting halfway. If the husband and the wife each go past meeting halfway this unselfish and generous spirit causes a wonderful overlap of kindness. Being Christian is being like Christ and the Lord has always done "...more than we could ask or think..." Ephesians 3:20

4. Have the humility to take criticism and learn from it. A Christian spouse should have the wisdom that is from above (James 3:17) and that includes being easy to be intreated (willing to yield to correction).

Business Matters

"Be not slothful in business" (Romans 12:11)

"Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings." (Proverbs 22:29)

Some nuggets of wisdom obtained from the Scriptures and from others:

     1. Buy when everyone else is selling and sell when everyone else is buying. A corollary to this is "buy low, sell high." This does not only apply to investments, but to all purchases. The scarcity of popular, new, and exciting products runs the price up. Be patient and the new wondrous item will be half the price in a year or two when inventories are high. Be a good shopper.

     2. Get a second and third opinion when making serious business decisions.

"Without counsel purposes are disappointed; but in the multitude of counselors they are established." (Proverbs 15:22)

The experience of others will help you and most successful people enjoy giving advice.

     3. Don't go into business for yourself solely because you always wanted to have a business of your own. Higher motives, coupled with sufficient capital, good management, and strong sales are necessary for such an enterprise to be successful.

"For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?" (Luke 14:28)

The thorns and thistles (Genesis 3:18) that you encounter working for others do not disappear, but are approximately doubled when you have others working for you.

     4. Control your wanter. Don't buy things you do not need and cannot afford. They will not be the blessing you hoped for but will be a curse. This is especially true if you buy unnecessary things with credit cards. The necessary things will be unobtainable because of the money consumed on the unnecessary things. There is no end to wanting once it takes control of your life.

"He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver, nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity. When goods increase; they are increased that eat them: and what good is there to the owners thereof; saving the beholding of them with their eyes." (Proverbs 5:10-11)

Do the Right Thing.

One of the most foolish things a person can do is to spend a lot of time to do a thing perfectly well that never should have been done in the first place. Choose your course before the Lord. Has the Lord commanded it or has He taught it by approved biblical examples or by the implications of Scripture? A good question to ask is “will this glorify God?” Remember,
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (I Cor. 10:31).

When you have the confidence you are doing the Lord’s will you can do it "heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men." (Col. 3:23)
Don’t spend so much time on that which doesn’t need to be done, or shouldn’t be done, that you don’t have the time to attend to the things that ought to be done.

What is the Wisest Way to Deal with Angry, Difficult, Almost Impossible People?

If you must deal with such a one, be kind. Remember, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” (Prov. 15:1). You cannot win an argument with such a person. Speak low and slow and use the Scriptures and the principles they teach.
"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” (Col. 4:6)

It seems that some people consider their mission on this earth to stir things up against the Lord and His doctrine. Make sure he realizes he is fighting against the Lord, not so much against you. Sometimes you just must distance yourself from such people.

“Mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned and avoid them” (Rom. 16:17).

In business situations the difficult person may actually need help and have a legitimate complaint. I have found that repeating their complaint to demonstrate that you understand their problem and then making an honest effort to solve that problem often softens their anger and frequently makes them a happy customer. Use the word we when discussing the solution – as in “I believe we can solve this problem if we use wisdom and get some key people involved.”

Pastor Bill Hawkins